Enter the hippies.....

Newcastle Green Festival is coming up again and as usual I feel my hippie hatred rising. Rage wells up within me and I walk about Northumberland street with a permenant glare. But what is it about this certain social group that fills me with such rage? The hippie movement of the 60s certainly affected a change and fair play to them, those hippies are alright. Especially since I don't have to deal with them.

What makes me fume is the endless niavety, the constant discussions about 'spiritual journies' that come about through taking acid or mescaline. I was sat in the park one day, happily smoking cigarettes and reading and this hippie comes up and starts talking to me. He told me about these shamanic journies that he had while I started blankly at him, wanting to get up and leave. For a while after that he followed our group of friends about, showing up at parties and talking shite. He's vanished from the scene now, but where he has vanished more have come.

I have watched a friend of mine slowly disintegrate into the mentality of a hippie. Once the dread-locks went in I was worried but then he started talking about how everyone in the world should love eachother and I gave up.... I mean, seriously, what would be the fun of a world where everyone loved eachother. I get great pleasure out of my irrational hatreds. (Especially my hatred of Nicholas Cage.... how I hate that bastard).

Anyway, the WORST thing for me personally is when a hippie discovers that I study philosophy. I get cornered and bombarded with nonsense. Usually it starts off with something like "You study philosophy? I'm something of a philosopher myself." And then the talking starts. The most recent 'philosophical' insight that I've been offered was 'why does every corner have a point?' Apparently this is an extremely profound question that simply cannot be answered. Of course such statements simply get returned with a blank stare from me. When they ask for my opinion I tend to say that I don't have one.

After a few hours of listening to random bullshit the hippie will ask if they can come to my house to talk philosophy with me. They will usually have some sort of book in which they write their profound words of wisdom and they will want me to read it. I will have to come up with an excuse like 'I'm too busy at the moment,' or 'My cat's afraid of people.' But next time I am in town I will be hijacked with some new theory.

So, I will be avoiding the green festival like the plague.... with all it's juggling and poi and dreadlocks and arts and crafts and mescaline and acid and hippie bullshit.

If the green festival is meant to be about stopping pollution then stop polluting my ears with your shite..... fuckers....

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